Question for My Father

 This was an assignment for class. I had to write a 300 word sentence (i.e Girl by Jamaica Kincaid). Let me know what you think.


Bastard where were you when I needed you, where were you when I cried for you every night, what made you think that I didn't need you,  what made you think that buying me one pair of Reebok sneakers would replace all the times my mother struggled to put food on the table for me, did you ever think about me as much as I though about you, do you know my favorite color, how about my favorite food, why did you choose another family over me, wasn't I good enough, wasn't I pretty enough, smart enough, what did I do to make you choose to not be apart of my life, when did you decide being someone else's dad (whom was no blood relation to you) would be better than being my dad, was my mom the problem, did she forbid you from seeing me, do you know how I feel when I see other girls with their fathers, do you know how it tears me apart knowing that at times you lived down the street from me and never came to see me, do you know how it feels to know that I am an unwanted bastard, do you know how it felt to want the attention of my father but only found it in the arms of useless men, do you know how many times I joined my body with another in attempt to fill this void but was only left more empty than when I began, do you know I hate myself because I have never been affirmed by a man, do you know that the only time I felt ‘loved’ by a man was when his body was pressed against mine, do you like that image of your daughter, your baby girl giving herself away?